just like being a parent

Seriously it's been a year since I've last blogged?  Wow!!  I guess that's what having a child will do to you, not to mention: stretch marks, loss of hair, leaky bladder, sleepless nights, shitty diapers- do any of you relate yet? ;) 
Lol this is AWESOME, Me blogging- a quick shout out to Mambo (for the reminder of what an AMAZING blogger I am) aka Mambizzle aka Daniel aka Mambolini of the Rico and Mambo morning show, be sure to check out their website RicoandMambo.com ok, enough of him, back to me.
I've been thinking thinking thinking, and have come up with a few different ideas as to what my next step in life is.  A new avenue, a back up plan, something else to add to my resume if you will.  I'm a little nervous, and excited at the same time- kind of like being a parent, the outcome will be beautiful!  
I hope I don't sound cliche but I've had an eating disorder before, yes just like Demi Lovato, and the thousand other celebrities out there!  I think it's something that developed while I was growing up?  I was a rather thin toddler/child and then somewhere in between 12 and 16 I blew up.  People used to tease me all the time, and I didn't really know how or where to turn for comfort- so I did what most people do, and let it all build up.  
I want you, and other people to know that binge eating then sticking your fingers down your throat is NOT the answer!  Exercising, and eating McDonald's in NOT the way.  If you want to become a healthier YOU- be ready for a change in your LIFESTYLE!  No one said it's gonna be easy, but it damn sure is worth it- just like being a parent!  and MORE importantly Mom's and Dad's your little one is worth it!  You being healthy, and active will be rewarding to your child as they get older and want to play outside but you can't because you're overweight, and tired or you're out of breath because you smoke those damn cancer sticks!!

Here I am now: 33 years young, a sexy, beautiful, smart, and funny MOMMY, sister, daughter, friend, and everything in between!!  And eager to become an even better me lol can you imagine, I'm already GREAT ;) 

the news is out

So now that you all know my little secret, let me start by saying, "mannnnn what a relief!!!"  You don't know how hard keeping that in for 2months has been, and I'll also fore warn you, you might get sick of all my "baby" posts because I totally plan on letting you all in on this joyous chapter of our life.  And to those of you who were "exclusive" to the baby news, thank you for keeping it a secret, and for your prayers.
I've actually been feeling pretty good this past week!  I'm not sure if it's because I changed prenatals, or if it's because I'm coming up on my 2nd trimester but it's such a relief!  And speaking of that...can someone remind me to buy TUMS? Thanks?
I'm fresh into my 11th week, which according to what I've read:
Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.  She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.
In a week from today we'll go for our 1st ultra sound.  Ooooh exciting, right?  I'm feeling a little nervous as well, but definitely excited!  I'm a first time Mommy to be, and I'm pretty sure I'll cry if we hear the baby's heart beat, and holy shit what if there's 2 little one's growing in there?  Because I sure feel like a fatty.  I was telling my Mom the other day, "I feel sorry for myself when the weight really packs on, I'm gonna be a fat ass!!"  She rolled her eyes, and laughed.  But seriously I'm so self conscious about my body/weight as it is, I'm gonna have to figure it out real soon.
A big thank YOU to my honey, for: hanging in there with my mood swings, back and foot pain, nausea, and everything else we're about to endure.  Like I've said in my posts, I know with ALL my heart, this has been HIS plan all along.  GOD works in mysterious, yet GLORIOUS ways, and I'm so grateful for this gift we were given.  GOD is right on time, all the time.  :)
BTW if you're not a preferred krayziekat blog reader...scroll down to see MORE of my pregnant stories xoxo

Double Whammy

So it appears I'm not the only one who's expecting a baby in 7 short months...I seriously know like 7 other people right now who are expecting, yes, congratulations to us all!!  One of them being my sissy :) We've been talking about how cool it would be to experience pregnancy together, before we actually conceived, and viola- it happened!  I told her that we should both tell Mom, and tell her together.  She agreed, and on our way to Marshall's we go.
As we approach my Mom at the cash register with cheshire cat smiles, she look's up with a questioned face, and says "what are you guys up too?"  We laugh "LOL nothing, we just came by to say hi."  "Sure!!" she resonds.  As she is wrapping up with her customer, my sister, and I are discussing our game plan.  "I'll go first, then you tell her" she suggested.  My stomach was in one fat knot.  Of course I'm happy about being pregnant, and I'm pretty sure my Mom will be 100% supportive, but there's always that feeling of the actual reaction. 
 We walk up to my Mom's register, and just start talking; how's your day been? how is work? You know, the small talk angle lol then my sister say's "I took a test."  "And?" my Mom replies "I'm pregnant!" "Are you? Really?" my Mom asked.  "Yup, I'm 6 weeks." she said.  My Mom came out from behind her register with a big smile, "Congratulations mija!" she said as she gave her a warming hug. Then my Mom looked at me, and back at my sister; then back at me again, and said "whaaaaaat?" All I could do was giggle.  My Mom figured it out though "oh my gosh!! not you too??" I said "Yes, I'm pregnant too." And we all stood in the middle of the cash wrap at Marshall's, and hugged.
My Mom's boss was just a few feet away the whole time, and she said "are you fuckin serious, both of you are pregnant? Holy shit Joyce, go take a break" she suggested hahahahaa talk about killing two birds with one stone. :)

I'm just sick

Who ever thought of the term "morning sickness" was definitely not a woman.  I wake up, and I'm nausea.  I try to eat a little something to nurture the growing fetus, and I feel sickly.  At work...you guessed it, I feel like puking!  This is all day, throughout the day for me, but I'm hoping this will only last til the 2nd trimester *fingers crossed* I'm alittle bitchy, and moody as well, and for whatever reason seem to be taking it out more on the baby's Dad.  It's not intentional by any means, he just seems to be the receiver of these random rants.  I'm just thankful I'm not actually puking, but the feeling of having/wanting to throw up all day is pretty shitty.  LOL the other day my brother was teasing me because I was laying in bed, feeling like death, and he asked "So did you learn your lesson?" I said "no!"  and stuck up my middle finger :)
I've been reading that ginger/gingerale may help morning sickness, and my sister suggested citrus fruits...I guess I'll have to try every remedy until I figure out what works for me, wish me luck!

it's the size of a blueberry

I had a feeling something was going on when two things happened 1) I cried when Danny said "promise to never stop loving me." and 2) when I woke up around 330am one morning to go to the bathroom...I NEVER do that.  Well, surprise-surprise, now it's a daily routine- as I'm 7 1/2 weeks or so pregnant.  I would KINDLY appreciate you, if you're reading this, to not mention anything about it until I reveal it to the world....you readers, have a golden ticket as to what's happening in the next few weeks...and btw, THANK YOU!! Yes, we're super excited!!  Although I wasnt too sure in the beginning LOL let me explain...
I figured "what the heck" I'm a few days late, I'll just take a test to see what happens.  I didn't even pee on it for the required "5 seconds for an accuarate read," and hopped into the shower.  As I'm conditioning my hair, I took a peek, and sure enough there were TWO pink lines, indicating- pregnant!  I'm dancing in the shower, thinking "oh my gosh oh my gosh...finally GOD has given me a gift of life"

I concealed the test in my sock from the bathroom across the hall to my room, just in case I ran into someone suddenly.  Danny was scanning good old status updates via facebook, and I was trying to think of a creative way to show him the good news...all I could think of was sticking it right in his face, he looked at it, and flung it across the room, and said "don't bullshit like that"...I immediately started laughing at his reaction, and said "I'm not!!" Obviously he thinks it's still a joke of some sort as I'm trying to hold a sincere stare, and say to him "I promise it's mine, I just took it."  "Are you fucking serious?" he asked.  I began to giggle, and shook my head yes...he still didnt believe me, as my sister is 13 weeks along, and thought it was hers.  I took him by the hand and say "Babe, I swear to GOD this is mine, I just took it-" there was a long pause as he gazed into my eyes trying to find the truth, I said "We're going to have a baby!"  "Oh my gosh!! Are you serious? Really!! You swear?  Oh my gosh!!  I love you" is what he said.  I sat in his lap, and we held each other in a silent happiness in what felt like a lifetime but it was probably a good 5 minutes.
You have NO idea how hard it is to hold something this joyous in (as a secret), although I have been dropping hints here and there, nobody seems to have caught on just yet.  I just want to make sure I get through the 1st trimester, before I make any announcements, so we'd greatly appreciate it if you kept us in your prayers.  Thank GOD, and thank you. :)

easier said than done

I'm sure you've heard that expression before, whether it was told to you, or you passed on the "as they say."  Well let me start with, I make the daily CHOICE to be a happy person, say ENCOURAGING words, phrases, or try to make people laugh/SMILE...it is the GREATEST feeling honestly.  I couldn't imagine waking up and not being thankful for the life I have, for the air I breathe, and the ability in me to share with you.  What I want to share with you right NOW is to TRY to take the time and effort to being courteous to YOUR heart...all you ever deserve is the BEST, why would you strive for anything less??  Whether it's noticing how you treat others, knowing if you're uncomfortable in a certain situation, and or having the courage to take on that battle.  The battle isnt't with life my dear readers, it's inside you.  All those little emotions running around: angry happy mad sad loving kind generous courageous etc can all be controlled by YOU...and YOU only.  Instead of battling with life, and the precious people in it, try learning how to deal with it.  Or you can spend thousands of dollars on a therapist to prescribe you sedatives, or xanax etc but then I'm sure you'll be back in a few weeks later with the SAME problems.  Get to know yourself a little before giving into your SELF!  Trust me, it's not easy, I battle with myself daily- sometimes more than once to appreciate every little thing about me, good and bad!  Sometimes I can be "bratty" or "selfish" but these are things I'm aware of and I'm trying to acknowledge it when they occur.  And believe me at times my pride has, and will get in the way, but pushing through it is where you see the growth.  I'm at such a beautiful place in life right now, besides living at home- no offense Mommy :) btw that'll be a later post in time lol

Challenge yourself...when you wake up tomorrow, remind yourself to TRY and be positive throughout the day...when your mother in law pisses you off, your co worker eats your lunch, the asshole in front of you cuts you off etc no one should be allowed to suck the happiness out of you :)

an eye opener

It was a typical Thursday night, I had just finished @8strikes, and was debating if I should pull an "all nighter" considering I had to be at work by 4am on Friday and I had already been up for 27 hours.  Well what do you know "Deanna" twisted my arm, and we decided to hit up the Palms for a birthday bash.  Everyone I met at the VIP table was super cool, super chill, and down to have a good ass time.  Drinks were made, sexy bodies were dancing, and I even think I tried hitting on the bartender?  Lol I was definitely going "all in," sending twitpics- that read "just gettin started" (mind you that tweet was sent at 2am ish?)

The drive from my apartment to work (at the time) was 7 minutes, give or take a few depending on the street lights.  So by the time 330 rolls around, I'm thinking "umm I better stop drinking" so I did, and danced a few more dances before heading home.  "Deanna" questioned if I was "okay to drive?"  "Ya I'm good!" was my response, and there I went- a good 3 miles and I was home.  I changed, made my lunch, and took Raider out to poop.  What I thought was a routine drive to work, turned into a totalled car, a ride to the hospital, and a life changing experience.

By this time is was already 430am, I was typically late, but I didnt care.  I didn't have time to warm up my brother's 4Runner (which btw I had to borrow for the week- that'll be another blog later in time) so off to work I go.  I don't remember who I was texting, or tweeting at the time (because I was under the influence) but all I know is it took ONE SECOND for me to take my eyes off the road, and it was a "jaws of life" situation.  I hit the median, and rolled the vehicle (1 1/2 times) landing on the driver side, in the middle of Russell Rd.  When I finally realized what had happened a by stander came to the front windshield asking "Are you okay in there?" "Can you get out?"  I looked around the car with confusion, and somewhat of an out of body experience to capture the idea of what was going on.  I reached for the release button on my seat belt, and it wouldnt budge.  The seat belt had locked up, and I was trying to hold myself up from my side to try to figure a way out- I was trapped!  The man was still questioning me while I was trying to get out "are you in there by yourself" "have you been drinking?" His next statement would have flipped my lid even if I wasn't in an accident- "Don't worry, but I just wanted to tell you that the vehicle is leaking fluid- it might be gas...." I sat there in disbelief thinking to myself "I'm gonna die" I then repeatedly yanked on that damn seat belt release button but nothing, I tried squeezing out but that wasn't working either..."the police, and medics are on their way- don't worry" is what he said trying to reassure me.
All I can think of when the fire fighter said "we have to use the jaws of life to get you out" is "my brother's gonna fuckin kill me!!"  He had just spent a few grand on the truck's engine, and it was his way of transportation.  He threw the tarp over our bodies, and held me, as I cried.  I could feel the pieces of glass hit our protected bodies, but the sound of the saw going through the metal is what I remember most.  Thinking back to my experience it felt like hours that they were trying to get me out, but I'm sure it was no longer than 10 minutes?
If you've ever had an experience where you felt like you had NOBODY to call, hear me out for a second.  I'm laying in the hospital bed thinking of how I'm gonna explain this one to my Mom, will I be out of a job, I dont have extra money right now for this, etc when the nurse comes to my bed and asks "Do you have FAMILY or someone to call to pick you up?"  I thought for a few second's and I cried "No."  I wanted to "Call Mom" my sister, or someone who would drop anything for me in a second, but what can they do 4 1/2 hours away from me.  My second thought was to call my ex, but I knew he wouldn't answer because he's a heavy sleeper lol true story!  I had nobody to turn to, and felt alone.

The NHP came to my bedside, and said "we could bust you for a DUI, but your vitals are okay, and I've never seen an accident like yours where someone walks away- you're lucky kid!!  Be careful"  I walked away from this accident with no broken bones, major trauma, nor injuries to pedestrians.  I'm lucky to be alive and share my story with you in hopes to shake up your world with what could happen!!  My accident anniversary is 11/19 so I thought it would be fitting to diclose my story, and show some pictures- before and afters if you will.  Think When You Drink.  It's not worth it!